Miles Down the Road

I'm sitting here tonight having a bit of a time. Truth be told I am in the recovery mode of a panic attack. Panic attacks have become somewhat of a fact of life in light of incidents in my life this year. They are usually triggered by something completely harmless, but in my mind it never seems that way. Anyway, I digress, the point of this blog is to point out the positive nature of things, after all we find only what we seek.

This year has been such a whirl wind. There have been some interesting moments to say the least and a few moments that I wish in some way I could change. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, but I had something taken from me this year that I'm not sure I will ever get back. Of course, the nightmare I elude to also possessed an opportunity for personal growth and I'm still embracing that as much as I can.

March 23rd is the day that defines before the incident and after the incident. Since that date, I've experienced a multitude of emotions and most I don't know how to begin to deal with. But I'm learning to cope. I have discovered that I am stronger than I thought I was, and that its ok to not be strong all the time. I know that sounds contradictory, but there are times in all our lives when no matter how strong we are, we need to rest and thats where these things called friends come in. The offer their shoulders to lean on, the offer their ears to listen to your story and most importantly they offer compassion when you just can't find it within yourself.

In my mind it seems years have passed since March 23rd, rather its only been a few short months. I look behind me at the road I've travelled and its been rocky in places and there's been a couple of times that I got stuck on a round-a-bout or two, but the important part is that I am still moving forward. I look ahead and the road is concealed, but I'm ok with that. I don't expect things to be easy, I expect a bit of a challenge. I have miles to travel before my journeys end...